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| i have been falling for her steadily more and more everyday but it seems like my window of oppurtunity is closed. we went to the club the other night and we danced for a time but i kept getting the feeling that she was holding back, perhaps she really wished he was there and not me. i was asked by april on a scale of 1 - 10 how much i like her and i said 9, but i think that i said 9 because in my heart i know i am madly in love with her but i dont want to say 10 because then i wouldnt let anything stop me. im not one of those guys that goes after girls when the guy is out of town but i dont even really think she is his just yet. he's my good friend though and i just cannot do it to him. maybe this is it, the one i let get away but find later in life and we'll both say, "man, i really had a thing for you all those years ago" and we'll both secretly wish i had mustered up the courage to ask her out when she was still available. tv has been messing with me also, that movie "keeping the faith" came on where ben stiller and edward norton both like jenna elfman and best friends end up competing for her...i thought that was like me and him and her. i also saw the episode of the office today where andy is asking dwight for love advice for angela, he has been asking me for love advice for quite some time and i smile and give him my best ideas. she deserves the best and in the end i just want to see her happy, even if it's not with me. **sigh** abril told me that my life is like a movie or something and that she is heartsick for me because of all the craziness my heart is giving me. people that know me or atleast have known me for awhile know that im a hopeless romantic and im sure it will be the romantic death of me. i have set plans in motion to ensure that i will hopefully be with a new lady and we'll really test the waters and see if she gets jealous or envious. -night kids. "...life is easy, love makes it complicated..." -[i forget who said that]. | | |
| so i guess i finally got back into xanga. it wouldnt let me get in a couple months ago so i just gave up. so a lot has changed with me...im moving into an apartmento next week and have really gotten into the nbc show "the office". its really awesome and you should check it out too. i'll update u guys some more later, for now i hafta go pop and lock some calculus. | | |
| *i just got back from Rialto like 3 minutes ago, and i decided that Rialto is my Africa. I use "Africa" in the sense that it is my escape, my land to pilgrimage to. most think that a pilgrimage is a journey to a holy land but if u actually take the time to look up the word, it is also defined as "a journey to a place with special significance" and R-town is significant and very special to me. It is where i lived for almost 10 years of my life and where i have friends that have had my back for more than 12 years. The other day i bought the "Inside the Actor's Studio" featuring Dave Chapelle and it changed my life. Dave Chapelle was hilarious and at the same time made a great deal of sense to me and things about my life. He explained that the reason he left for Africa was because things were getting to crazy down here and Africa was a place where he could go and wouldnt be known as Dave Chapelle. I go to R-town to just be me, I dont have to be a Friday Night Live Mentoring Program Coordinator, Best Buy Employee, or a student. I can be young Rob who likes to hang out at all the odd hours of the night and dress up in pimp coats at the Burlington Coat Factory. i had a lot of fun hanging out with everyone the short time i was up there. those crazy kids bring me back down to earth and remind me that u dont have to have people nearby for them to have ur back. granted they all live about 2 hours away but ill gladly travel that distance and time to be with people that get me. Off the top of my head I remember we went to a hotel party, Denny's a few times, visited melissa at applebees, visited Akira at Best buy, saw Alpha Dog and saw a suuuuper hot chick at Hot Topic. long story short, i realized that i need to go to Africa more often. i love those crazy kids and i cant wait until next time. -night kids. "...Chocolate!?!?! This is doo doo baby..." -[Dave Chapelle]. | | |
| i didnt do anything today. well, i did play World of Warcraft and watched Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, but yeah i was supposed to buy "fresh steps" but i kept putting off and then when i finally felt like going it was already 6pm and i assumed the mall would be closed. i also finished up my comics for this week and now im waiting for wednesday when the new sleu(its a word look it up) will arrive. Tomorrow i gotta get my front brakes done so i can start drifitng those turns again, well, actually, i dont drift but the fronties are starting to make sounds and my mechanic said i would need to switch em out soon. mayn, anytime i have extra cash i hafta put it up for lame stuff like tuition or new brakes...i would like to have that extra couple of hundreds for things like new clothes or comic books or to save for a rainy day. uhhhh, im also gonna hit up the office so i can get some more hours and to get my books done and since ill be up near mission, i think ill go ahead and pick up my fresh steps. the title of this blog is hip-hoppin' cuz thats what i have playing in the background whenever im in my room, whether im cleaning or reading or playing wow, hip hop is playing cuz its calming and at the same time very poetic and full of energy. seriously, this Common cd is crazy good, ill put it up and say its a classic fo sho. -night kids. "...it dont take a whole day to recognize sunshine..." -[Common, "the light"]. | | |
| mayn! i wanted to get my front brakes done but they closed at 2:00pm (i got there at like 2:25) i see how that is. on the upside, i picked up the Common cd "Be" and im suuuuuper glad i did. its crazy good and im sure it'll be in my cd changer for quite a while. it has a lot of songs i got from limewire but cds have the best quality, fo sho. really like "Go!" "Faithful" and "They say." its a new year and its muy importante that you start with good music you can vibe too. seriously, im gonna get a headache from all this head-bobbin'. I also think its time for me to change the image up so imma start with cachuchas, gettin' SD ballcaps cuz im a child of the hat tiltin', keepin' hope alive, now. Starting a New Era for myself. starting the year off with some deep wounds too, but im a wolf (snow fox), ill just lick them and bury it, way down, deep down. "...they say life is a game so i play hard..." -[Common, "they say"]. | | |
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